Sigh. When I finished writing my ‘project vw’ one page summary, focusing on ‘what matters’ last week (yay!), I naively thought that was it, that was all I needed clarity over. BUT the very next day, when I picked it up & re read it (feeling quite smug that it was ‘done’), I got a reality slap. By the time I finished reading it, I knew the writing up of ‘project vw’ wasn’t ‘done’. Damn it! There was now a big bunch of detail & clarity missing for the part ‘I’m the boss – of me’.
In my head, there were questions being asked, such as – “well if I’m the boss – what do I specifically need to take care of? What are the priorities?’ Damn it! I just want to get back to making my art – sigh.
Yet in my heart I know the questions that I am asking myself – & generating in my own head (!!) are details & clarity that I obviously need to attend to NOW. Being fully aware of all the ‘things’ to be taken care of, to be the boss of, is likely important – otherwise I wouldn’t be hearing these questions for a start – but it’s mostly that I think it’s highly likely there are some things I’ll need to learn more about (no surprise there). Damn it! If I don’t do this now, I won’t get much creativity done anyway – because it will be gnawing away in the back of my mind, like a dog with a bone that hasn’t any meat left on it!
There’s no shortcut here. Basically I can’t bake this cake without a complete ingredient list, mixing instructions, specific baking duration & temperature setting!
So I sat down with a big sheet of A2 sketchbook paper, & got to work. At least this time I don’t have lots of notes scribbled on pieces of paper to deal with!
Fast forward almost a week, & I finished the (above) final draft document, covering what needs taking care of & the priorities – which (of course) align with the previous document covering ‘what matters’- & everything I need to know (educate myself about too), plus how all the individual ingredients flow into others, & ultimately mix together to ‘cook’ my self directed creative good life!!
There’s actually a lot to take care of – but I know I can do it – because I’ve done it once before, although I made a lot of mistakes that first time around, especially money ones…..but I learnt a lot, & grew a lot, from the experience!
Vicky xxx
