
See the dandelion in this picture? (lower left corner).
That’s what I feel like – an oddity, the outsider, a small thing surrounded by bigger things. Am I the only one there? It’s hard to see anyone else like me. Everyone around me looks bigger & better than me…. they have things figured out …it seems …compared to where I am.
Despite my preference to create alone, in my heart, I don’t want to always journey alone. Hopefully what I share here will be of support to others stumbling along trying to figure out a place & space that nurtures & supports how they want to live their life. All I know for sure is that it’s no longer acceptable to feel like a passenger in my own life, letting others hold the greater influence over the direction I choose to travel. But to take charge, and drive where I want to go, is confronting and challenging. The buck stops with me. Sigh. I feel responsible to myself, to my own expectations.
I am grateful that today it feels like I am actually travelling along my own road. I also realize I can never go back to where I used to be, because I don’t ever want to. The only way to go now … is forward…. into a completely unknown place and space, & adjust to how awkward that feels on a daily basis. And despite feeling very uncomfortable, I don’t think I have ever felt so alive !
Vicky xxx