This morning I revisited notes I made last year about what I specifically wanted to be doing, creatively, & came across this in my ‘Quest’ section:

IT’S ALL ABOUT INVENTING OUR OWN THING:

MAKING FOR OUR OWN PURPOSES:

FINDING AND FOLLOWING OUR OWN PATH.

WE ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

I really felt that last line kick my ass.

Lately there has been a ping pong game going on in my head about whether I should return to full time work, or just keep working part time in the evenings. As usual, the issue is $. Paying the rent, etc. I couldn’t make a firm decision. One day I was happy to keep working part time until my savings ran out, but the next day my anxious self was all for keeping that buffer of savings intact. Sigh.

But reading the above ‘Quest’, has really highlighted what’s at issue here. I have to make a choice. Go back to the safety of working for others, and have a lot less time to create, OR, step up into the unknown zone of keeping the priority on creating, while working part time in the evenings, and work out something else to top up the $.

As noted in my last post, these crazy big things I now want to make will take lots of time to create. Which brings up the question –  what would I rather spend my time doing? Without a doubt, it’s making those crazy big things.

The choice is mine. I can't squirm out of that fact.

‍

Vicky xxx